Wedding Shower Questions

Who may organise the bride her Wedding Shower?

Any of her friends, often a member of her bridal party, cousins, sister-in-law, aunts, friends of her mother or of the groom's mother, frequently, if she works, staff members of the organization where she is employed. Because gifts are the sole object of a shower, good taste forbids members of either the bride's or the groom's immediate family to give the shower. Note: It is a good plan for friends to consult one another before arranging a shower in order to avoid four or five affairs with the same guests. It is much better to join forces in one or two showers. If a joint shower for the bride and the groom is planned, it should be given jointly by friends of each.

Who is invited to the Wedding Shower?

The bride's friends (those who are close enough to her to want to be included in giving her a present); always all members of the bridal party. The hostess of the shower may invite friends of the bride even though she herself does not know them well, but she does not ask her own friends who do not know the bride well because they would have no reason to bring a gift, but could not very well come without one. Also, the hostess invites the bride's and the groom's mothers and sisters (but they are not expected to bring gifts). If only women are invited to a shower (usually daytime parties), the groom does not participate. Sometimes men are invited to join the shower party after the gifts are opened. On such occasions, the men do not bring gifts. If the shower is a joint one, both the bride's and the groom's friends are invited, including members of the bridal party, the best man and ushers, and the parents of the bride and the groom.

Invitations to showers are not limited to any particular age group. Both the bride's and the groom's friends are likely to be of various ages. If the bride is employed and her office or school gives her a shower, it is not customary to invite those not employed in the organization in which she works.

When is a Wedding Shower given?

Usually six weeks to one month before the wedding. They are planned for any time of the day or evening, according to the kind of party the hostess would like to give.

How are invitations extended to a shower?

They may be telephoned: 'I'm having a linen shower for Mary Smith on Saturday. Come for brunch at one o'clock' or Written on a visiting card:

Everything goes really, except Formal engraved 'fill-in' invitations are never correct.

What should those invited to wedding showers know about gifts?

Everyone invited to a wedding shower gives a present whether able to attend or not. The only exception is when a person happens to be invited who does not know the bride well enough to be interested, in which case the invitation may be declined with a reasonable excuse and a present is not sent. Guests either bring the gifts to the wedding shower personally or send them in advance to the hostess' home. If an invited guest does not attend the shower, he sends the gift to the hostess' home. Bring or send the gift wrapped, although the hostess may re-wrap in uniform gift paper. Enclose the donor's card in every case. Wedding Shower gifts are sometimes given in place of wedding gifts, especially when a shower is given by a bride's co-workers in an organization. Usually, however, the shower gift is in addition to the wedding gift. It is good taste to keep wedding shower gifts small. They should never cause financial strain. Remember that there may be a number of wedding showers. Guests should consult the hostess in advance of the wedding shower date to avoid duplication of gifts. If the hostess suggests the services of a shower consultant in a local department store, gifts may be purchased through her to avoid duplication. Guests should always give the kind of gifts indicated on the invitation and suggested by the hostess. If the gifts are to be any kind of wearing apparel, exact sizes should be learned. Guests do not individually present the gifts to the bride at the shower-the gifts are presented all together, and are opened while the friends watch.

At a joint shower, the women guests give presents to the bride and the men to the groom. Note: Guests never give lingerie at a joint shower.

What does a hostess consider when she decides to give a shower?

She decides whether to give a 'bride's shower,' a 'groom's shower' (although more frequently this kind is given by a host), a 'joint shower,' or one of the 'special' showers.

She consults with the bride's mother about what the bride will need or would like. Also, in order to avoid duplication, she checks with her about the kind of shower some other group of friends may have planned.

She considers especially the advantages o£ the 'important gift' shower. This shower (usually a 'joint' shower but not exclusively so, if one prefers to make it one of the others) is becoming increasingly popular since it costs the individual guests no more than the smaller presents they would ordinarily bring, but gives the bride and groom something they very much want but which they might not be able to afford for years. The invited guests each contribute a small amount of money and the total is used to buy one good gift-an electrical appliance, a piece of furniture, a rug, a fine painting, or a special piece of silver.The hostess also decides whether the shower is to be a surprise and if so, how to make sure it will be.

What kind of party should be the setting for a wedding shower?

A wedding shower may be any kind o£ a party-a breakfast or brunch, luncheon, bridge, afternoon tea, cocktail party, dinner, dance, supper, or evening party.

What kind of refreshments are served, and when?

Wedding Shower refreshments usually are light. The kind, of course, depends upon the type of party-brunch, luncheon, tea, or after dinner. Whatever the refreshments, they are usually served after the gifts are unwrapped.

What are some general ideas for wedding shower decorations and the presentation of gifts?

First plan a color scheme related to the kind of shower to be given. A kitchen shower might be red and white checks; lingerie shower, blush pink and ice blue; wines and liquors, brown and beige.

Decide in what part of the room the gifts are to be arranged, and where the bride will sit to open them. Have a supply of gift wrapping paper in the color scheme to re-wrap all gifts uniformly. Guests may be asked to send their gifts to the hostess' home in advance of the shower day. The new wrapping is put over the original wrapping. Note: If all guests are ordering gifts through the shower consultant of a department store, this consultant will have them wrapped uniformly according to the color theme specified. For decoration and for the refreshment table, be sure to order fresh cut flowers to tie in with the color scheme.

Have a huge laundry bag in the color scheme in which the presents may be carried home.

What about entertainment at wedding showers?

Entertainment may be planned or unplanned. Many people think immediately of games. These should be planned and included only if the group is one that enjoys games. Or, they may be planned, one or two started, but given up if they do not seem to be going over well. It is better to have planned entertainment than to have everyone sitting around stiffly, or to have one or two people doing all the talking. A shower should last about two hours and should consist of the greeting to everyone, a game or general conversation for awhile, unwrapping the gifts, and refreshments. There are a number of good books on this subject which give a wide variety of games, many planned especially for showers.

Should the Bride send any thank-you notes?

The bride thanks each one as she opens her gifts. She may write individual thank-you notes in addition if she wants to, but this is not usually expected. She should write a thank-you note or telephone anyone who sent a gift but did not attend. She should by all means write a thank-you note to the hostess.